The Glory of the Slapshot and Other Meaningless Musings

I feel compelled to say a word regarding the slapshot...and my apparent affinity for it.

But before I speak about the shot directly, I must say a word about myself. You see, to truly understand my obsession with the slapshot, you must understand me.

Since I was a small boy, I have been good at things, lots of things. Not the kind of good that comes from hard work, but rather the kind you are born with and have without any effort. And as any young man learns in his youth, you need to stick to things you are good at in order to avoid being mocked. Thus, I have generally stuck to my strengths, i.e. feats of intelligence, wit, musical talent, being tall, being thin (though this one is fading on me), full head of hair, etc.

You get the point. So as an opposite to the above comments, I have avoided my weaknesses rather well, i.e. feats of strength, athletic prowess, etc. I have dabbled in it, getting to an adequate level in most sports, getting married, and other such examples of me rising from my low level of talent in an impressive way.

So what does this have to do with the slapshot? Well, I am awful at hockey. I go out and embarass myself weekly in an effort to enjoy the sport I love so much, yet I am just terrible. I constantly make mistakes, over-skate situations, fall over, generally misplay the entire shift, things of that sort. Well, I took a few slapshots and discovered that I was getting the hang of them. Now I have noticed that my friends have yet to conquer this feat, even though many haven't even tried...but I don't care. If you get an inch, you have got to grab hold of it. So as a man of many talents, yet lacking any ability in hockey; I have grabbed my inch with fervor (I almost put elan, but felt too many would feel their own weaknesses exposed).

I can do a decent slapshot, and I am committed to improving upon it. I need this you see, it is my one single talent I have shown on the ice, and without it I am lost.

As for the shot itself...what is not to like about a 6'4" man raising his stick to the sky in a menacing manner and unleashing a blast that could literally go any direction after being struck. I have little if any control over the puck, except for the fact it will go forward. So as Ellis can attest, as he had to duck to not get hit in the head; beware if you are in front of me...I will unleash all 40 MPH of my blast upon you (yes NHLers shoot it over 100MPH, but let me have this, it is all I've got).

That is all.