In Political News

I mailed in my voter registration today. From now on I officially belong to the No Party, at least that is what I wrote on the registration. Good-bye Republicans hello fellow No's (on a side note: what is the plural of No? nos? noes? noahs? no-ads?)

As a member of the No Party, I thought I would thank all those who made this possible.

George Bush, I don't hate you as much as everyone else, I actually think you're an okay guy. You made some bad decisions, and Iraq kind of screws you, but I wanted to thank you for teaching me what Neo-Conservative means, and why I don't want to be one, and why Republicans have become them.

John McCain, I also have you to thank. While you aren't George Bush, your neo-conservative rhetoric scares me and I won't support it. Thank you for being so clear in your views, it made my decision much easier.

Barack Obama, thank you for being so vague and self-righteous. Your speeches make me feel like I am watching an episode of Heroes, and you are Peter Petrelli out to save the world...only your super power is giving convincing speeches and smoking cigarettes (your lungs know what you did to them).

Joe Biden, thank you for joining John McCain in being the overly judgmental, condescending grandfathers I never had, but always dreamed of. You two make me feel so inadequate in so many ways; especially the ways you tell me about in your sentences starting with "look." Thank you for repeating yourself so often and so clearly...next time you should spell the words you are saying, I bet that will make it even more effective.

Sarah Palin, you hold a special place in my heart. I hope you become the next president so everyone will get really, really angry. I mean really angry, they will be pissed. Thank you for being the next great hope of the Republican voting base. It showed me that I don't want to be part of the Republican voting base.

If you want to know what the No Party stands for...well, nothing, we stand for nothing. That is all.