Charles Foster Ofdensen

Everything being a lawyer should be is summed up in the person of Charles Foster Ofdensen, the manager, legal counsel, and CFO of the band Dethklok from the TV show Metalocalypse. The premise of the show, for those not watching, is that the band Dethklok has become so hugely successful that the world economy rises and falls with the bands exploits. The beauty of the attorney-client relationship between the biggest death metal band ever and a man that commands their army of Klokateers, manages the 7th largest economy in the world, and frequently uses Machiavellian tactics to keep them alive and their record sales up, is that he does it all with the same attitude and professionalism that most attorneys give to corporate clients, regardless of the fact that the band members are largely apathetic to the world around them. Ofdensen is a seemingly reasonable attorney, always wearing a gray, non-descript suit, who nonetheless orders violence against enemies of Dethklok and even orders the abduction and torture of those who illegally download Dethklok's songs. All law should be as subtly brutal as Charles Foster Ofdensen.